Blackadder - Wikiquote. Blackadder (1. 98. It traces members of the Blackadder dynasty and their associates through different periods of history. Opening narration: History has known many great liars. It was he who rewrote history to portray his predecessor, Richard III, as a deformed maniac who killed his nephews in the Tower. But the real truth is that Richard was a kind and thoughtful man who cherished his young wards, in particular Richard, Duke of York, who grew into a big, strong boy. Henry also claimed he won the Battle of Bosworth Field and killed Richard III.
Blackadder: “Beer”/“Chains” Blackadder loses his Queenie. Blackadder the Third was first broadcast in 1987, and was set in the Regency era. The show follows the life of Mr Edmund Blackadder, butler to the Prince Regent. In the Regency era, Mr E. Blackadder serves as butler to the foppish numskull Prince George amidst the fads and crazes of the time. Black Adder the Third (1987). The Black Adder is the first series of the BBC sitcom Blackadder, written by Richard Curtis and Rowan Atkinson, directed by Martin Shardlow and produced by John Lloyd.
Again, the truth is very different; for it was Richard, Duke of York, who became king after Bosworth Field, and reigned for thirteen glorious years. As for who really killed Richard III and how the defeated Henry Tudor escaped with his life, all is revealed in this, the first chapter of a history never before told: the history of..
Baldrick. Baldrick: And I shall call you . I've always despised you. Edmund: Well, you are my father. I mean, you're biased. King Richard IV: You, compared to your beloved brother Harry, are as excrement as compared to cream! Harry: Oh, father, you flatter me! Edmund: And me, also!
Watch Blackadder online. Stream episodes of Blackadder instantly.
King Richard IV: So now, my boy, when I have at last found a use for you, don't try to get out of it! King Richard IV: ! The Swiss have invaded France! King: Excellent! Wessex, while they're away, take ten thousand troops and pillage Geneva! Chiswick: But the Swiss are our allies, my lord. King: Oh, yes. Chiswick, remind me to send flowers to the king of France in sympathy for the death of his son.
Chiswick: The one you had murdered, my lord? King: . If the man is guilty, the axe will bounce off his neck . If the man is not guilty, the axe will simply slice his head off. Percy: Look, look, I just can't take the pressure of all these omens any more!
Edmund: Percy.. Percy: No, no, really, I'm serious! Only this morning in the courtyard I saw a horse with two heads and two bodies!
Edmund: Two horses standing next to each other? Percy: Yes, I suppose it could have been. Friar Bellows: Perhaps a motto for our enterprise?
Blackadder the Third is set in the late 18th and early 19th centuries, a period known as the Regency. In the series, Edmund Blackadder Esquire is the butler to the.
You've forgotten the plan! Sir Wilfred Death: I thought that was the plan!
Sean, the Irish Bastard: Let's get those meek bastards now! The Hawk: And now, on to the castle, to kill the royal family and claim that throne that isn't mine by right! Percy: I'd like to meet the Spaniard who can make his way past me! Blackadder: Well, go to Spain.
There are millions of them. Blackadder: Tell me, young crone, is this Putney? Young Crone: ! That it be!
Welcome to The Blackadder Wiki! This wiki is all about the British TV Sitcom Blackadder, which anyone can edit! We are currently editing over 407 articles! Blackadder turns up as butler to the Prince Regent in the late 18th Century. Starring Rowan Atkinson, and Tony Robinson as the ever faithful sidekick Baldrick. Buy Blackadder the Third (The Award-Winning BBC Comedy) (BBC Radio Collection) on Amazon.com FREE SHIPPING on qualified orders.
Blackadder: . And you don't have to talk in that stupid voice to me, I'm not a tourist! I seek information about a Wise Woman. Young Crone: The Wise Woman? The Wise Woman?! Blackadder: Yes. The Wise Woman. Young Crone: Two things, my Lord, must ye know of the Wise Woman.
Do you know where she lives? Young Crone: 'Course. Blackadder: Where? Young Crone: 'Ere. Do you have an appointment? Blackadder: No. Young Crone: Oh..
Here is a purse of monies.. Thou plottest, Blackadder. Thou wouldst be King and drown Middlesex in a butt of wine!
I'm in love with my manservant. Wise Woman: Oh, well, I'd sleep with him if I were you. Blackadder: What? Wise Woman: When I fancy people, I sleep with them.
I have to drug them first, of course, being so old and warty. Blackadder: But what about my position? My social life? Wise Woman: Very well then. Three other paths are open to you.
Three cunning plans to cure thy ailment. Blackadder: Ah, good. Wise Woman: The first is simple - kill the boy! Blackadder: Never! Wise Woman: Then try the second - kill yourself. Blackadder: Hmm..
And the third? Wise Woman: The third is to ensure that no one else ever knows. Blackadder: Ah, that sounds more like it!
How? Wise Woman: Kill everybody in the whole world! This is called adding. Let's try again, shall we?
I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make? Baldrick: A very small casserole. Blackadder: Baldrick. The ape- creatures of the Indus have mastered this.
So, how many are there? Baldrick: Three. Blackadder: What?
Baldrick: And that one. Blackadder: Three.. Some beans. Blackadder: . To you, Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it? Blackadder: . And as a matter of fact, it makes me look rather sexy! Blackadder: To another plate- swallowing bird, perhaps.
If it was blind and hadn't had it in months. Percy: I think you may be wrong! Blackadder: You're a sad, laughable figure, aren't you, Percy?
Baldrick, what do you think of Percy's new ruff? Baldrick: Four! Blackadder: What? Baldrick: Some beans and some beans is four! Blackadder: No, now we've moved on - from advanced mathematics to elementary dress making. What do you think of Percy's new ruff? Baldrick: I think he looks like a bird who's swallowed a plate, my Lord. Blackadder: No, that's what I think.
Try to have a thought of your own; thinking is so important. What do you think?
Baldrick: I think thinking is so important, my Lord. Blackadder: I give up! I'm off to see the Queen.
Percy: Should I come too? Blackadder: No, best not. People might think we're friends. You stay here with Baldrick.
Bird- Neck and Bird- Brain should get on like a house on fire. Blackadder: Bloody explorers.
They ponce off to Mumbo- Jumbo Land and come home with a tropical disease, a suntan and a bag of brown lumpy things, and Bob's- your- uncle, everyone's got a picture of them in the lavatory! I mean, what about the people that do all the work?
Baldrick: The servants? Blackadder: No, me! I'm the people who do all the work! But to Sir Walter bloody Raleigh, it's fine carriages, luxury estates and as many girls as his tongue can cope with! He's making a fortune out of the things: people are smoking them, building houses out of them.. This is a different thing; it's spontaneous and it's called wit. Blackadder: Right, Balders, I've lost the money!
I'm going to have to run away! Baldrick: Why, my lord? Blackadder: Well, to avoid these monks! Baldrick: No point. The Black Bank's got branches everywhere.
Blackadder: Oh no! The ones who like you. Blackadder: Am I then not popular? Baldrick: Um.. I'll show them! Baldrick: Have you got a plan, my lord? Blackadder: Yes I have, and it's so cunning you could brush your teeth with it! All I need is some feathers, a dress, some oil, an easel, some sleeping draught, lots of paper, a prostitute and the best portrait- painter in England!
Baldrick: i'll get them right away, my lord! Blackadder: Baldrick! Why have you got a piece of cheese tied to the end of your nose?
Baldrick: To catch mice, my lord. I lie on the floor with my mouth open and hope they scurry in. Blackadder: And do they? Baldrick: Not yet, my lord. Blackadder: That's hardly surprising. Your breath comes straight from Satan's bottom, Baldrick.
The only sort of mouse you're likely to catch is one without a nose. Baldrick: That's a pity, 'cause the nose is the best bit on a mouse.
Blackadder: Get the door, Baldrick. Baldrick enters, carrying a door. You're fired. Baldrick: But my lord, I've been in your family since 1. Blackadder: So has syphilis! Now get out! Blackadder: Were you ever bullied at school? Prince Ludwig: What do you mean? Blackadder: I mean, all this ranting and raving about power.
There must be some reason for it. Prince Ludwig: Nonsense. No, at my school, having dirty hair and spots was a sign of maturity.
Blackadder: I thought so! And I bet your mother made you wear shorts all the way up to your final year- -Prince Ludwig: Shut up! When I am King of England, no one will ever dare call me ! Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here, stealing the damn things and then selling them off! Blackadder: . Only you and I have access to your socks. George: Yes, yes, you're right. Still, for me, socks are like sex: tonnes of it about, and I never seem to get any!
Blackadder: Right. Now all we have to do is fill in this MP application form. First name? Baldrick: Er.. I'm not sure. Blackadder: Well, you must have some idea.
Baldrick: Well, it might be Sod- Off. Blackadder: What? Baldrick: Well, when I was little and I used to play in the gutter, I used to say to the other snipes . None. Baldrick: Hold on.
I've got this big growth in the middle of my face. Blackadder: That's your nose, Baldrick. I've spent my last penny on a cat- skin windcheater, I've just broken a priceless turnip.. Well, all I can say, Baldrick, is this is the last time I dabble in politics! Prince George: ! The most extraordinary thing happened. Last night I was having a bit of a snack at the Naughty Hellfire Club, and some fellow said that I had the wit and sophistication of a donkey!
Blackadder: Oh. An absurd suggestion, sir. Prince George: You're right, it is absurd. Blackadder: Unless this was a particularly stupid donkey.
Blackadder: I believe, sir, that the Doctor is trying to tell you that he is happy because he has finished his book. It has apparently taken him ten years. Prince George: Yes, well, I'm a slow reader myself. Blackadder: Morning, Mrs Miggins.
Mrs Miggins: Bonjour, monsieur. Blackadder: . It's French. Blackadder: So is eating frogs, cruelty to geese and urinating in the street. But that's no reason to inflict it on the rest of us!
Mrs Miggins: But French is all the fashion! My coffee shop is full of Frenchies, and it's all because of that wonderful. Scarlet Pimpernel! Blackadder: The Scarlet Pimpernel is not wonderful, Mrs Miggins.
There is no reason whatsoever to admire someone for filling London with a bunch of garlic- chewing French toffs, crying ! I'll have a cup of coffee, and some shepherd's pie. Mrs Miggins: Oh, we don't serve pies any more! Poor little Mildred the cat, what's he ever done to you? Blackadder: It is the way of the world, Baldrick. The abused always kick downwards. I am annoyed, and so I kick the cat, the cat .
You are last in God's great chain. Unless there's an earwig around here you'd like to victimize. Blackadder: Gentlemen, I've come with a proposition. Mossop: How dare you, sir! You think, just because we're actors, we sleep with everyone!